The Burnout Paradox in Tech

How your greatest strengths will lead to career fatigue, and the mindset shifts to prevent it

If you haven't tuned in yet, you won't want to miss my podcast episode on burnout. It's packed with insights to help you navigate your career more effectively.

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Pressed for time? No worries. Keep scrolling for a comprehensive summary of the key takeaways below.

In the relentless world of tech, burnout isn't just a buzzword—it's an ever-present danger that can derail even the most promising careers. As someone who's coached countless professionals through this challenge, I've come to recognize that the conventional wisdom on burnout often falls short. Today, I want to share some key insights that will help you develop the mindset needed to avoid burnout and maintain a sustainable, successful career in tech.

Before we dive in, it's important to acknowledge that burnout is a sensitive and deeply personal topic. Experiences can vary greatly from person to person, and what feels like an overwhelming workload to one individual might be energizing to another. With that in mind, let's explore some common patterns and strategies.

The Burnout Paradox: Success as a Double-Edged Sword

Here's a hard truth that many in our industry struggle to accept: your success is often the root cause of your burnout. Let me explain:

1. High-performing companies will always push their best people to the brink of burnout.

2. Companies are designed to identify successful people and give them more scope.

3. Your reward for solving problems is... more problems to solve.

This cycle can feel relentless. One product manager I spoke with put it this way:

"I used to tell myself that I need to surge for just another few months. We'll ship and things will get better, it's only a moment in time. I've been telling myself that for 5 years and it's now a running joke with my family. It doesn't seem to matter what time of year, which project or manager or even company. I feel like I'm a glutton for punishment."

Sound familiar? The key is to recognize that this isn't a temporary state—it's the nature of success in our industry. This pattern persists regardless of economic conditions or company growth stages. In fact, recent industry shifts from rapid growth to layoffs and increased efficiency measures have changed the landscape, but not eliminated the burnout problem.

The crucial point here is that avoiding burnout isn't just about implementing strategies or tools—it's about developing a mindset that allows you to see these patterns and respond proactively. Once you understand this, you can start to develop strategies to manage it—think of it as your personal "defense against the dark arts" for your career.

The Burn-Rest Cycle: A Necessary Evil

While it's true that all elite professionals need to "surge" or "burn" for a while, it's crucial to understand that this can't be a constant state. Your career is a marathon, not a sprint. This becomes especially apparent when life events, like starting a family, force us to reassess our priorities.

One expectant mother in tech shared her concerns:

"I have a personal update for you. I'm pregnant. Only my partner knows. Obviously, we're thrilled. It was a long road to get here. But I have to confess to you, I'm really worried about the impact to my career. I was just getting into flow. Finally, work is clicking. I finally know I'm good at this tech thing, but you talk about the importance of maximizing your power years of career, and I think I'm just starting. Well, I was just starting, but now I need to invest in my family. How bad will this be for me professionally? Am I going to be old news when I return?"

This situation highlights a crucial point: you can have it all, just not all at once. Your career should be measured in decades, not years. A temporary slowdown to focus on family or personal growth isn't a career-ender—it's a natural part of a long, successful career.

It's important to note that burnout affects different groups in unique ways. Women, in particular, often face additional challenges related to maternity leave and balancing family responsibilities. The physical demands of pregnancy, the career interruption of maternity leave, and the ongoing challenge of balancing work with childcare can create a perfect storm for burnout. The tech industry needs to recognize and address these gender-specific issues to create a more equitable and sustainable work environment for all. It's particularly challenging because maternity leaves often coincide with the period when women are just starting to hit their stride in their careers.

Having a strong support system can make a significant difference in managing these challenges. This might mean a partner who can step up, family members who can help, or even outsourcing some responsibilities if you have the means. Don't be afraid to explore options like meal delivery services, housekeeping help, or childcare assistance to free up more of your energy for both work and family.

The Resentment Trap: When Ambition Backfires

Here's another counterintuitive insight: ambitious, overworked people will eventually resent their job. I've seen this play out countless times. A high-performer gives their all to a company, sacrificing health, family time, and personal interests. But when the expected rewards don't materialize (or don't feel sufficient), resentment sets in.

One frustrated professional told me:

"I'm insanely frustrated with my company. I didn't get the promotion I deserve. What's more is that everyone tells me I'm doing great and I couldn't have given more to this stupid company. But I think I'm ready to look for another job. These people don't deserve me. I don't trust my manager and don't trust the company."

The problem here isn't the company—it's the expectation. When you give everything unconstrained to a constrained entity (your employer), you're setting yourself up for disappointment. This mismatch between an employee's unlimited effort and a company's limited ability to reward is a fundamental issue. Companies have limits on how they can reward employees, whether through promotions, compensation, or scope of work.

What's more, success often leads to a cycle of increased scope and responsibility without corresponding increases in resources or compensation. You solve one problem, and you're rewarded with two more to tackle. Your scope expands, but your team doesn't grow proportionally. You're doing more, often for the same pay, which can quickly lead to feelings of being undervalued and overworked.

The key here is to recognize that without a shift in mindset, this cycle of overinvestment leading to resentment is almost inevitable. The solution isn't found in working harder or finding a "better" company. Instead, it lies in proactively setting boundaries and pulling back before you reach the point of resentment.

By understanding that your tendency to give your all can actually set you up for frustration, you can limit your investment to a sustainable level without regret. This approach allows you to maintain your passion and productivity while protecting yourself from burnout and resentment in the long run.

Remember, you bear some responsibility in this dynamic—consistently overworking is a choice, albeit often an unconscious one. By recognizing this pattern, you can adjust your approach before resentment takes root.

The Startup Myth: Rethinking Work-Life Balance

There's a common belief that startups are inherently more demanding and likely to cause burnout than large companies. In my experience, this isn't necessarily true. While startups can be intense, they often offer more autonomy and creativity. On the other hand, large companies can be surprisingly draining with endless meetings and bureaucracy.

The key is to find the environment that works for you and your current life stage. Don't assume that one type of company is inherently better for work-life balance than another. Both can lead to burnout in different ways, so it's crucial to understand your own needs and boundaries.

Practical Strategies for Avoiding Burnout

Now that we understand the underlying dynamics of burnout, let's talk about some practical strategies to avoid it:

1. Enforce boundaries: This isn't just good for you—it's good for your employer. They want productive, happy employees, not burnt-out, resentful ones. However, it's important to acknowledge that enforcing boundaries can be incredibly challenging, especially in high-pressure environments. It requires consistent effort and sometimes difficult conversations.

2. Find a hobby: This might sound counterintuitive when you're already stretched thin, but having something that's purely for you can be a powerful antidote to work stress. Look for creative outlets that function as a "single player game"—something entirely for your own enjoyment, unconnected to work obligations or other responsibilities.

3. Color-code your calendar: Look at your week and color-code meetings as green (enjoyable), yellow (neutral), or red (stressful). If you're seeing too much red, it's time to make changes. Aim to increase your "green" activities—those that bring you joy and energy. Remember, though, that it's not always possible to eliminate all "red" meetings. The goal is to find a balance that works for you.

4. Think long-term: Remember, your career is measured in decades. It's okay to have periods of intense work followed by periods of rest or slower growth. This long-term perspective can help you navigate short-term challenges without burning out.

5. Manage your own expectations: Recognize that there will always be a gap between what you give and what you receive from work. That's okay—it doesn't mean you're being taken advantage of. It's part of the natural dynamic between employees and employers.

6. Find joy in your work: Many people feel burnout because they're doing "joyless things". Try to identify aspects of your job that you genuinely enjoy and see if you can shift more of your time and energy towards these tasks.

7. Signal to your employer: Communicate clearly with your employer about what you need for a long-lasting career. This might include discussions about workload, career development opportunities, or flexible working arrangements.

In Conclusion: Your Career, Your Rules

Ultimately, the most effective strategy against burnout is to take control of your own career narrative. This requires a significant mindset shift. Instead of trying to give 110% all the time, focus on sustainable excellence. Figure out the space you want to give to work and build from there. Remember:

• Work will expand to fill whatever space you give it.

• Your career will be measured in decades, not years.

• It's unreasonable (and counterproductive) to put off joy for decades in pursuit of success.

• Add things you love to your calendar and enforce those boundaries.

• Recognize your "power years" but don't sacrifice everything for them.

By adopting this mindset, you'll be better equipped to navigate the challenges of a long, successful career in tech without burning out. You'll have good things to fall back on during tough times, and you'll avoid the regret that comes from sacrificing too much for work. This approach helps you steer clear of what I call "downstream future regret"—the kind of regret that comes from realizing you've missed out on life while pursuing career success.

Remember, your career is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself, set boundaries, and don't forget to enjoy the journey. That's the true secret to long-term success in tech.